


harry's sacrifice.

by niamhies



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, F/M, jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29881818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamhies/pseuds/niamhies
Summary: Lily, James, Sirius and Remus have to watch in frustrating agony as Harry walks to his death, sacrificing himself for those he loves, just as his mother had done so many years before.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Kudos: 10





	harry's sacrifice.

Once Lily was sure that Harry could no longer see her ghostly figure in his peripheral vision or hear her soft footsteps that guided him after the stone slipped between his fingers, she fell into her husband’s arms, a broken sob emitting from her throat.

James held her close to him, his shoulder regaining the tension that had been there before Harry summoned them. He murmured softly to her as they followed him, Sirius and Remus next to them, appearing equally devastated. James did not speak, he couldn’t. Unlike his usual self that was always determined to whisper words of comfort to his wife, everything about the moment he was experiencing in the shell of his body made him so deeply disgusted with himself.

Lily could not breath. Her chest was heaving so rapidly that it was with great difficulty that she hadn’t fallen to the ground yet. She felt so utterly useless. Ever since her sacrifice on that fatal night that changed everything, she had been forced to deal with the reality that all she could do was watch in frustrating terror as her Harry – her own son and the person she cared for most in the entirety of her life – went through a countless amount of horrific ordeals, many a times with no one by his side. He had gone through an unfathomable total of pain. Pain that could’ve been prevented had she not been so blind to believe one of her closest friends was betraying her and her family right under her nose. In the end, her sacrifice had amounted to little, hadn’t it. Lily had died so Harry could live. But in the end, none of it mattered, because he was moments away from joining her, much too early in his limited life, moments away from being murdered by the man she sought to protect him from. 

Sirius would not stop shaking. His whole frame was vibrating, in anger, in despair, in deeply imbedded guilt… His godson could no longer see him, so the easy-going smile dropped from his face like a dramatic change in weather. From a sunny, summer’s day to a blistering cold winter. His mind raged on, angry at everyone who had a part to play in Harry’s death. Riddle, Peter, Dumbledore, _himself_. It was not fair. It never had been. And Sirius wanted to scream out into the night, demanding to be returned to his non-existent body and so he could steer his godson away from the lurking shadows of the Forbidden Forest, from the horrors of the war, and bring him up properly, as he should’ve done in the first place. As much as his missed Harry, the last thing he wanted was to see him again, so close after their last encounter.

Remus was much more subtle. His face remained impassive as he trailed silently after Harry. He could feel the anger radiating from his three best friends, translating exactly how he was feeling into physical emotion. Remus could not bare to think of Harry, beside him in a few moments time, his soul passed on. He knew Harry wouldn’t be able to watch as his friends reacted to his unmoving body, he would find it unbearable to witness, he’d shout, he’d cry – just as Remus had done. But he had to be there for Harry, who was showing courage like nothing Remus had ever seen before from anyone. He was wise beyond his years, just like his mother and father. Remus admired him so much, and could not be more thankful for the boy. Harry, who had knocked some sense into him and was the sole reason why he went back to his pregnant wife, where he had spent the best months of his life in a long, long time. He thought of Teddy, who would grow up without his parents and now his godfather. But he couldn’t blame Harry for that. Teddy would be okay… It was Harry who needed him now.

***

Lily could hear Hagrid’s screams of protest, struggling against his tight restraints as he tried with all his might to reach Harry, roaring in agony and Lily shut her eyes tight. She could not bear… would not bear to see it… 

Her mind wandered to the inhabitants of the castle, to Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Molly, Arthur, McGonagall and her soul flooded with icy rage. She didn’t care that they were the closest living thing Harry had to a family and that they loved him in ways that Lily could not. She hated them, despised them. Why were they not looking for him? Why had they not been keeping an eye on him, knowing full well what Harry was like. He was a hero, a selfless, loving, hero who put every single person he knew before himself. And if Lily could, she would hate that part of him, wishing he was selfish. But she could not hate any part of him. And in the back of her thoughts, calling out quietly to her, she knew they were looking for him. Knew that Ron and Hermione were running to the Headmaster’s office, only to find it vacant, their eyes welling with tears and hearts filling with dread. She knew that Ginny had been the first to question why he was not with them after she returned with Neville, and her fears were becoming reality with each passing second that Harry did not appear in front of her. Lily knew that Molly was beside herself, soaked in her own puddle of tears as she hurried around the room of the deceased, hoping against all that Harry would return with Ron and Hermione any minute now. She knew that Arthur’s face was a sickly white, trying to convince himself that he was not about to lose two sons in the span of a few hours. And she knew McGonagall was stood silently in front of the large oak cloak in the Great Hall, five minutes, one minute, thirty seconds, until the hour was up, wondering why she could not move from her spot of frozen dread.

Riddle’s voice was piercingly soft, and Lily knew it was about to happen. She clutched James’ shirt and buried her head in his chest. He was shaking furiously, and Lily knew him well enough to know every thought that was racing through his mind. Every promise of revenge, every what if… 

From behind her lids, a flash of cruel, emerald green clouded her vision and Lily fell to the floor.

James fell with her, weeping carelessly whilst his tears trickled down Lily’s hair. Sirius let out a disbelieving gasp and his world went silent, kneeling down beside his godson. Remus felt his eyes brim with endlessly falling tears and he could not force himself to look away from the fallen body in front of him, lifeless and unmoving. 

Everything had been for nothing.

They stayed there, whilst Lily and James tried to calm their cries, Sirius attempting to suppress his rage and Remus furiously wiping his cheeks, all waiting for Harry to join them. But he never did.

“Where is he?” said James, gritting his teeth.

“Give it a minute,” replied Sirius, looking around for any sign of a more carefree Harry than the one next to him.

Lily forced her eyes open, because Riddle had not spoken. Her gaze ignored her son’s body, not able to face it yet, and travelled over to a heartbroken Hagrid and the huddle of whispering Death Eaters. She caught sight of the pale face of Riddle, lying face up on the ground, momentarily passed out.

“It’s worked,” she whispered and didn’t care when her voice wavered. A tiny part of her had hoped that Dumbledore had been wrong – and that Harry had never been a horcrux – but then, she supposed, Harry really would’ve died for nothing.

The three pairs of eyes trailed to where she was looking and somehow, Lily managed to get to her feet. She helped James up and they locked eyes, mutually understanding that they had to be brave for a moment longer. For Harry.

When her eyes finally landed on the body of her son, Lily was quite sure she had died all over again, rebirthing in a scorching fire that spread agony throughout her body. Her throat closed up, not enabling her to breath, nor to speak. 

Her mind was void of any thoughts, apart from the sickening image in front of her and she was unable to look away, her mind and body torn apart.

And then Riddle was stirring, his high voice denying any assistance. He looked shaken as his scarlet eyes fixed on Harry’s body and Lily grew more nervous by the minute. Where was her son?

“The boy… is he dead?” said Riddle, still mildly shaken. He pointed a long finger at Harry’s body, eyes flashing with fear that none of his Death Eaters could see.

From the corner of her eye, Lily could see Sirius visibly stiffen. “If he dare-“

“You! Examine him. Tell me whether he is dead.”

Narcissa Malfoy appeared from the crowd, her face shaken and contorted in pain. She walked silently over to the body and knelt beside it. She moved her trembling hands to Harry’s face and Lily felt a stab of fury rise in her as the older woman examined her son, pulling back his eyelids and reaching beneath his shirt to feel his heartbeat. 

But something happened that caught Lily completely off guard. A small, almost silent, gasp left Narcissa’s lips and her eyes widened, peering down at the body. And a tiny, miniscule seed of hope fell into the depths of Lily’s doubt and planted itself in the midst of it all. 

She leaned away from James’ chest, her eyes watching with careful precision. 

Why had Harry not joined them yet? Why was he not surrounded by them, embracing them all in loving hugs that had been so absent from his life? Why had Narcissa Malfoy not stood up and declared Harry Potter dead? Unless… she daren’t believe it.

It was Remus that voiced everyone’s suspicions, barely above a mutter. “Is he…”

_Alive,_ Lily added in her head. 

Narcissa moved her face closer to Harry’s whilst the unsuspecting Death Eaters awaiting her response were growing restless. “Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?” she asked, her eyes pleading with apprehension.

Lily stepped closer in anticipation, praying that, against all, her son was somehow alive.

It was impossible, she knew that. But… what if? What if, Dumbledore had been mistaken? Because why would Narcissa Malfoy ask a question to a dead body?

Sirius took a sharp intake of breath and his first were clenched so tight that they had turned a ghostly pale.

Remus’ heart was hammering in his chest, his mind telling him he was a fool for even thinking that Harry could be alive.

And James was stood silently, not moving at all. He had a firm grip on Lily’s clothes so she could not move out of his reach, for fear she would not return back to him. 

Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared them for what happened next.

“Yes.”

The word was barely audible, like a breath swept away by a ferocious storm. But they had all heard it, clear as day – proof that their Harry had survived all odds.

“Oh!” Lily cried and she fell to her knees, overcome with blinding emotion. She could not see, her eyes were clouded with tears as they streamed down her rosy cheeks, and she couldn’t find the strength to wipe them away. Lily clasped her hands over her mouth, which only muffled her sobs a little. But she didn’t care. She wanted to cry out, so the whole of the world could hear. Her son was alive. She wanted to bathe in the newfound joy for the rest of eternity, so happy that her sacrifice had meant something. Lily had given up her motherhood, and it had counted to something. Finally, it had counted. But she knew she couldn’t spring to her feet and smile and laugh with her husband as they returned to the rest of the waiting souls, because it wasn’t over. 

Lily was being pulled up by a sobbing Sirius and he wrapped her in a hug, his wet cheeks pressed against her shoulder.

“He’s going to make it, James,” said Remus, who was holding James firmly by the shoulders.

James was a crying mess. With his face in his hands and his knees buckled, Lily had never seen him so distressed. 

Sirius pulled away from her and took Remus into a crushing hug so that Lily could be near her husband.

“James,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Slowly, James’ eyes met hers, his glasses a bit fogged up. “Lily,” he whispered and brought his hands up to cup her cheeks.

“He’s going to win this, James,” said Lily, and she had never before been so sure of anything else.

Beneath the green flecks in his hazel eyes, deep slivers of emotion stirred. There was an overwhelming amount of relief, there was joy, happiness, determination, love… But there was guilt, uncertainty, a need for revenge, sadness… And Lily understood him completely. Everything about him she understood, because he was her soulmate, and they loved each other so dearly. They had an inexplicable bond that no one apart from them could comprehend. They shared each other’s secrets, fears, hopes, everything. And as Harry was put into Hagrid’s shaking arms, they shared an silent moment between themselves, one of deep, adoring love.

“I know,” he replied quietly, lost in her eyes. Lily kissed him chastely and was so very grateful that her son was not joining them tonight. Not for a very long time.


End file.
